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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Note to Professor's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011
6:28 pm
Lemme double-check that...
Dear Prof.,

  Please go over the answer key that your wife puts together for you before issuing us the accompanying test.  We corrected you three times on our "wrong" answers this past exam, and that only happened because we got to grade them ourselves.  What about the ones that you've graded?  2 points per question does make a difference, especially with finals a week away.  Plz to be getting stuff in order; you're freaking me the fuck out.

- NUH-UH student.
Tuesday, October 21st, 2008
5:03 pm
Dear jackass,

You were already getting on my nerves because only you can make me find the American Presidency boring. (See icon.)

You're having us do an outline and a presentation rather than a paper - right on. You wanted us to turn in a 2-page outline now (as opposed to the actual final outline) and do a mini-presentation (for reasons passing understanding). Because the actual due-date is a month away, I have been plugging away on my research, but it's not yet done. So I sent you my outline of everything I've done so far and the overall structure of my presentation, what I'm planning to do in the coming weeks, etc.

So logically you yell at me because "the completed outline was due today."

...Because when I say a final, completed outline and project are due around Thanksgiving, I totally mean it's due before Halloween.

Also, btw, that thing you're passing out tonight: It's one question, with a response due next week. That's remarkably identical to every other assignment I have this week, for all of my other classes. They're called "midterms" - stop referring to yours as a "paper" in an attempt to make us not feel like you're giving us an exam.
Saturday, November 3rd, 2007
9:44 pm
Dear Head of Department,

You know, I'm sure if you messed me around just a little bit longer, you could totally kill my enthusiasm for this course, this subject, and academia in general.

No love at all,
Grad student desperately hoping that this is not the norm.

Current Mood: pessimistic
Wednesday, September 12th, 2007
4:26 pm
Dear Novel writing teacher,

When 95% of your class would cheer if you fell down the stairwell, you're doing something wrong. 

When ill students don't bother giving you their medicial certificates because they know they'll be punished for skipping class anyway, you're doing something wrong.

And when the best thing students can say about you is that you skipped three classes out of seven this term, you're REALLY doing something wrong.


P.S. No one cares that you wrote your last book while raising two children full time and two more part time, while your house was being renovated. One of the students you were lecturing just had her MOTHER die and the other, myself, was confined to bed because I couldn't BREATHE. Oddly enough, both of us are a little behind this week.

P.P.S. Why is it alright for YOU to randomly skip class?
Monday, April 23rd, 2007
11:18 am
My Organic Prof,

Is it rellay necessary to cover the structures of nicotine, meth, and cocaine when you damn well know that they will not be covered on either our upcoming exam or the final? How many times did you get off-topic today? And how much of the class time was spent on material that could possibly benefit my grade? How badly do you really want to come across as the "laid-back professor who's cool with all his students" such that time I could have spent towards studying for my tests was wasted on hearing about cocaine court cases and how to make crystal meth?

I really wish you'd get fired like your wife, my last physics professor, did. You suck at teaching, and in general, suck at life.

no love, no sleep, and no more patience,
front row and center
Friday, April 20th, 2007
12:39 pm
Dear Prof,

Enclosed, please find one (1) soul, belonging to me, as well as an I.O.U. for one (1) firstborn -- in exchange for making up the test that I missed last week through my own foolishness.

Good Christ, I might actually pass this semester.

12:19 pm
Dear Professor,

Yes, I am your research assistant, and I am more than happy to help you out with your research to fulfill my required 45 hours of on-campus employment.


I work from 7:30-8:30AM on Fridays. During this time, I am always in your office *alone* researching. If you want me to wait until you arrive every day that I work, as you requested, I humbly suggest you get there BEFORE 8:30 on Fridays. I'm continually waiting for you until as late as 9:45. Today, I left. Don't lecture me, especially seeing as I'm rapidly nearing 60 hours of work for the semester, and now (technically) am working for you out of the kindness of my heart.

Oh, and also? Why the hell do you want me to get there at 7:30 every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning? The earliest you've ever gotten in was 8:15, and that was once. I'm a college student, and getting up at the asscrack of dawn isn't exactly my idea of fun, especially when the stuff that I'm doing (basically surfing the Internet and recording information about the collections of various libraries) isn't time sensitive.
Friday, February 9th, 2007
1:01 pm
Dear Campus IT,

When I tell you that one little bit of the site doesn't work in Opera, the correct response is not, "Don't use Opera."

You're a lazy dick. It's one fucking link. Choke and die.

No love,
Monday, December 11th, 2006
4:09 pm
Sunday, November 19th, 2006
4:39 pm
Dear Millsaps,

Stop giving the students assignments over the breaks. Heaven foribd we spend brain cells concentrating on something other than your classes for four days. Yeah, four effin days. We don't even get an actual Thanksgiving break. I think there's just enough time to say hi to the parents and grab a roll on my way back to campus. That thing back in October you called "fall break?" That wasn't even a three day weekend! Why can't we be like other schools that actually let their students relax every one in a while? You know our courseload is already harder than most! So doesn't that deserve some kind of reward in the form of a few days without classwork? This would be the second time this semester I've lost out on a "break" because I have workloads to complete over the weekend, and since I'm not the one dealing out assignments, I know it's not by my choice! There's a reason why the entire campus spends the weekends getting trashed and that's because we know what we have to return to on Monday! So do us a favor and back off the horsewhips. Smoke a bowl. Get laid. Because the more work you give us, the more you have to grade.

Going Blind from all Your Stupid Readings
12:01 am
Dear department chair and senior seminar professor;

Fuck you.

Fuck you for making me hate the ninety minutes between 1:00 and 2:30 every Tuesday and Thursday. Fuck you for throwing me into a land of irrevocable confusion every time I step into your office for advice, for clarity, for help, for guidance, for suggestion, for anything that a department chair is supposed to give to a senior working on her capstone project. Fuck you for expecting me to follow your tangential thought process when you won't let me get a word in to ask you what the hell you're talking about; and fuck you for expecting me to know that your tangential thought process ended in a topic better than the last one you invented for me. Fuck you for those tangential processes landing in topics that are unrelated enough to the one you gave me last week that all the work I did in seven days is for nothing. Fuck you for landing me with a topic so far removed from my original topic that I'm thrilled that I was allowed to stick with the country.

And for not helping. And for making me cry (which, by the way, I haven't done in response to something someone academic said to me since the third grade when I got a C in handwriting). And for making me pull allnighters on a regular basis. And for what I'm doing to my body to get this done for you. Because it isn't about me anymore, it isn't about furthering my academic process and knowledge and portfolio, it's about you; and it's about getting you something to file away and pull out when someone asks what you're doing as a department chair.

For the drugs; and for how much I'm not eating because I either forget or am simply not hungry because of the drug thing. For my shoulder that's going haywire again; because stress causes tension and I'm alternating bending over articles with typing. For making an ass out of me in front of the entire class. For not understanding that I'm serious. For killing five highlighters in three days (I'm running out of those, you know, and you haven't allowed me time to go out and get more). For pushing off all other classes and not realizing how behind I am in those until someone tells me there's an exam on Monday. For having me question my decision to leave physics; for having me question my decision to come here for school.

But most of all? Fuck you for being a raging asshole who tunes me out at convinient points. I'd probably be a lot healthier. And I'd like that.
Wednesday, September 27th, 2006
11:15 am
Dear random student teacher or whatever who sits in the back of my stats class and handed out the quiz today:

If you're going to behave like we're little kids, just go away. We're college students, not children. Additionally, that busywork you tried to give us? A: Optional, and B: I totally didn't need it. I hate busywork.

No love,

The girl in the front row who wants to leave
Tuesday, September 26th, 2006
2:12 pm
Dear faculty advisor (ish),

Stop sending me passive aggressive, snippy emails like I don't have my shit together. Contrary to popular opinion, I do.

Stick it in your ear,

PS. Send money.
Friday, August 18th, 2006
8:49 pm
dear professor i will never meet,

thank you so much for moving to washington, dc, the THURSDAY before classes began. thanks. thanks a lot.

i was really looking forward to your class.

and now i have to scramble to find a class to take its place. thanks.

Thursday, August 17th, 2006
12:50 am
Dear Financial Aid Office;


Please die at your earliest convenience (knowing how you roll, that will be sometime in 2078).

No love,

Current Mood: pissed off
Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006
6:20 am
Dear Professor,

Good Lord! You're sexy when you get all excited about Modern British Literature...

Lust Forever,
Monday, April 24th, 2006
9:47 pm
Dear Professor;

Just as a piece of advice, do not send out an email to the class at 8:30 Sunday night announcing that a fifty-page article we need to read for 3:30 Monday afternoon is finally in the department office. Which opens at 8:00 Monday morning, nevermind those of us who have class all day until yours.

Friday, March 10th, 2006
6:13 pm
First Timer, Whee.
Dearest Professors (That's right, all of you);

I hear that your strike will last between three and four weeks, or thereabouts, and I must say that I am very disappointed. During this time off you expect us to do our work like good little students, and hand things in when we return. A lot of the students are struggling and will need HELP. You cannot provide that aid while on strike.

Don't be surprised if many of your students say, "You aren't working, why should we?"

I respect you; really, I do. This just pisses me off, especially considering that I have to complete this program -- which I HATE -- and you just HAVE to go on strike NOW after 14-months' worth of talks. A month left, and you leave all the students hanging with the possibility of having to make up the semester next year, having to pay fees to finish, or just totally fucking things up in general.

Students have enough shit to deal with, and now this. Thanks a lot.

Love & Hugs,
~ kittysaysno

Current Mood: annoyed
Tuesday, February 14th, 2006
10:58 pm
Dear Spanish Professor,

Why must we have these reoccuring tests? You keep saying they are quizzes, but I really know what you mean when you say, "prueba". It means tests. Like, literally. And I don't need to look it up in the dictionary because every day is another, "prueba" planned. Quizzes do not have 50 or more questions on them and don't take longer than 25 minutes to complete. I can understand having one, maybe two, in the same week, but tomorrow is Wednesday and you've got our third test scheduled.

Lay off, please?
Monday, December 12th, 2005
4:51 am
my last address to you...
dear art history prof,

knowing that the online software's glitches caused SO many problems for me and your class this semester, and in light of the biting emails i've sent and forum posts i've made, did you get some perverse, cruel pleasure out of giving me an 89 on my final? one point shy of an A?

had i been given the full 60 points for the essays, i would have had a 93. so you took 4 points off...four? so arbitrary? so useless? FOUR?

not enough to really show that i didn't do the work correctly, but just enough to make me feel less about myself.


you bitch.

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